


trying to breathe with your head underwater

by trina97



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Canon Divergence, Depression, Drug Addiction, Suicide Attempt, pre-show to post 3B, trying something new so lets see how this works out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-14
Updated: 2014-10-14
Packaged: 2018-02-21 02:51:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2451947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trina97/pseuds/trina97
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"And yes I did have a lot of Adderall" </p><p>Drugs have long term effects, Stiles finds this out it the hardest way possible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	trying to breathe with your head underwater

The Steps That It Takes:

1

The doctor hands your father a bottle and tells him that this should help with AD-something. Your father thanks the man and starts giving you a pill in the morning.

2

Your father takes the medication bottle out of your hand and replaces it with another. At least that's how you remember it. But you don't mind that this bottle says Lorazepam instead of Amphetamine. This makes it feel like you can breathe again. You don't care that it makes you sleep. In fact, you are thankful for that side effect.

3

A month later the Lorazepam is gone and the Amphetamine is back. But this time you have the benefit of Fluoxetine and you start to maybe feel better.

4

You're hyperactive and you tell your friend that you had a lot of Adderall. He doesn't question it. Maybe it's not so bad to take more than what the Doctor recommended.

5

You're losing weight and losing sleep. Maybe you shouldn't have taken the higher dose.

6

You go back to the prescription dose and you get the shakes when you do. Nobody notices, least of all your best friend who is too wrapped up in his new girlfriend.

7

You have a panic attack. Or maybe its an anxiety attack. Does it really matter? Not when your fathers gone and the beautiful strawberry blonde kissed you.

8

You start to take more Adderall again. You can't sleep. Not with how your nightmares are. At least if you're an addict your a functioning one. Or so you tell yourself.

9

You're in pain. Of course I am Scottie, you want to say. He thinks its because you basically have a new body. You know it is the symptoms of withdrawal.

10

She knows, of course she knows. It was her cousin who died of withdrawal, wasn't it? She hugs you and tells you that you will get through it. She starts crying. You need to survive Stiles.

11

You don't like surviving very much anymore.

12

It was a week since you last had it and you congratulate yourself on that. Too bad that you gave in. Too bad that you're getting your stomach pumped in the emergency room.

13

Your dad looks angry and terrified, Scott's looks disappointed and scared, your girlfriend looks annoyed and concerned, and she, she looks devastated.

14

You don't tell them why. Neither does she. She knows you're addicted. You know you're addicted. Scott, Dad, and your girlfriend think it was a suicide attempt. You're not sure which scenario would make them feel better but you know which one will allow to keep your pills.

15

While you're in the hospital, Fluoxetine makes another appearance in your life.

16

She visits you. She asks you which one was it really. You admit that it was probably both. I can't lose you too Stiles. Well maybe if you didn't kill her best friend then you wouldn't be the only one left for her.

17

New routines are fun. Your dad locks the medicines up in a safe. He gives you two pills in the morning and one at night. You know the code but you don't tell him that.

18

She starts to be by your side almost constantly. She appears whenever the temptation gets bad and you just want to get into the safe. You swear she can read your mind.

19

When you come to, you are in the ICU. The first thought in your mind was disappointment. I screamed, she says, please don't ever make me scream for you again Stiles. Your dad and best friend are crying. Your girlfriend is no where to be found, but you realize that they probably only allow a certain number of people in the room at a time. Melissa is probably why she and Scott were allowed in here in the first place. From then on you only feel guilt.

20

Hospital again. She visits everyday at 4 PM. Your father visits everyday at whatever time he can get. Scott and your girlfriend are a rare treat. She talks of some supernatural crisis. You know they can't stand to see you like this.

21

One white, one blue, and two pink. Then a check under your tongue to make sure you swallowed. You wonder why they still let you be around medication at all.

22

The signs of withdrawal kick in and everybody realizes the real problem.

23

I can't lose you. They can't lose you. We need you Stiles, please. I can't let go of another person I love.

24

You, me, Allison, and Lydia. Sure, the plan was tweaked a little bit, but please don't destroy it completely Stiles.

25

I already lost your mother, you're the family I have. Please don't make me wife and son-less.

26

I hate you Stiles. I truly do. Why did you do this to yourself?

27

Good question.

28

It gets better.

29

The hurts getting smaller.

30

Maybe everything will be alright.


End file.
